Day 108

Gracie Slick...

Matthius Heiderich

Julien Papaud

I really notice and love your great sense of humor, straightforwardness, pride with humility, love for your family, your intelligence, quick mind, beautiful eyes, and your super-awareness. I greatly appreciate your support of me, your ability to ask for what you want, and your willingness to listen. I love your zest for life, inner-strength, and adventuresome spirit. All my love always, Dad

Lola

Day 107

"You are so beautiful..."









I find it very painful to care about someone so much who has such a distorted view of what love is. Painful because I want to share with him what I feel but even more so because he's missing out on what true love is. He's amazing and we connect and he gets under my skin. But it's only for those moments we have together. There's never anything to look forward to...it's all about here and now. But then again, I'll catch him looking at me from afar, often, and maybe that's just the beginning.

Good night. Thank you Ambien.

Lola

10.13 Day 106

"I'd like to see you to try to walk tomorrow..."











A Christopher Mills animated short film set to "Collect Call" by METRIC, from the album FANTASIES.



2 down.

Lola

10.11 Day 105

I'd be crazy not to follow...



Perhaps my favorite song of all time.

One year ago I fell in love. To the month, almost the day, I think I'm falling in love with him all over again. Last October we were making out in bar bathrooms and doing heroin before his shows. This time it's laying in the park, drinking wine, staying up all night talking and playing guitar and him not being able to stop kissing me before we go to sleep. I love the way I feel when I'm with him and that scares me. Love scares me. Love with him scares me, and this is why...

Deep breaths little one...

Lola

10.01 Day 104

Fridays are a good day to sit in the corner of a bar and think about what you've done...

My friend shot this a few weeks ago. I think it's a keeper...


A few goodies...




I often wonder why some men feel the need to blurt out the first thing that comes to their mind when they see an attractive woman. Is it fearlessness? Did mom not raise you right? Missing seed up in that head of yours? It's not quite appealing to a woman to hear "sexy" or "nice ass" from across the street. I try to feel appreciation, will sometimes say thank you and then scurry away as fast as my little legs will allow to avoid any conversation.
And then there are the boys who start off sweet and polite. They make easy and quick conversation, compliment me, usually on my eyes or hair, make comments about my tattoos. I say thank you, wrap up what little conversation was to be had, wish them a good day and make my way out. But they just don't quit. No...is this guy really going to follow me? Ugh.
But then there are the worst ones of all...the ones I'm interested in...the ones that express interest in me, make eye contact, perhaps say a few kind words, but leave it at that. And those are always the ones that make me scream inside, "ask a fucking girl out for fuck's sake!"
Dating is such a bitch. It's as if there's no medium. It's all gross or beautiful with nothing in between. Even when things seem to be leaning towards the beautiful side of the scale, it will end with gross.

That is all.

Lola