Wednesday, June 3, 2009

6.03 Day 54

Since you're not going to call me, I'll distract myself with the opposite sex...

There is something quite icky about goodbyes. My best friend moved from NYC to Cali today. I didn't spend nearly enough time with her beforehand either. I did this when my grandma was sick and with my friends before I moved here too. When my mom died it was so confrontational, so in my face, and so painful. Same when my boyfriends came and went. And now I have this unhealthy way of dealing with abandonment...I turn from it, look the other way, and pull the separation card. The worst part is I've gotten away with it until now. I've hurt someone, my sweet pea, and on the eve of her departure. And that hurts me. Because I love her. So this is how it goes...

Still want that choo choo train,

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